Bali is a beautiful, friendly, vibrant place with amazing people. I spent two weeks travelling around the Indonesian island last year. I loved it, had a real laugh and loads of hilarious things happened. Here are 5 of the funniest things that occurred during my stay.
1.Playing barefoot beach football with the 10-year-olds in Jimbaran – and NOT scoring
2. Drinking coffee made from civet poo – “Mmm, yummy – is it meant to taste this thick?!”
3. My wife (almost) ditching me for a bike-riding Balinese toyboy
4. Looking up in the jungle and seeing this monster (I hate spiders)
5. Winning the award for whitest person on the beach…every single time I went to the beach
Another thing that always tickled me in Bali was getting a taxi. This is how it usually went…
Me: To the Keraton hotel in Jimbaran please
Driver: Hello my friend, you wanna go jet skiing, cheap price?
Me: No thanks
Driver: Massage? You look like you need a nice massage…
Driver: Ok. Ok. How about transport for tour of Bali? I take you around and show you the sights – I’ll treat you like a king.
Me: Just the hotel please
Driver: I take you for snorkelling trip. How much you wanna pay?
Me: For F**CKS sake just take me to the bloody hotel